Evening all, i know its been a while since i last wrote but things have been very hectic! on october 10th i picked my daughter up to realise she was pretty ill. i rushed her to the hospital as any mother would do when their child is usually extremely healthy! they took her straight to resuscitation, her temperature was at an astounding 41 degrees. At that point she went into an absent seizure, my daughter lying lifeless in my arm while everyone rushed round about her. i knew she was seriously ill but no-one was telling me what was wrong or what was going on. it was hell. To my shock, she was discharged 2 hour later!!
when we got home she went to sleep, after that she slept for the rest of the day! that night she was rushed back into hospital, they checked her over, brought her temperature back down and again, discharged her the next morning!
3 days of hell
From the morning she was discharged she fell asleep and from the next 3 days on she slept. over all she slept for 100 hours without wakening properly. Within that space of time she had a home visit from her doctor who said just keep doing what im doing with the calpol and ibuprofen and that it was just a bad virus. i was not happy. My child had slept for 72 hours by this point, not eaten not drank anything no toilet business at all!! this was not right in my eyes so i didn’t settle. i knew there was something more serious. and on the 3rd night she woke! i was so happy! words could not express my joy at my baby girl waking up! but things very quickly went down hill. she could not speak, her eyes were squint and just minutes later she fell back asleep. just an hour later i felt her fontanel, it was swollen so much. i knew instantly then what was wrong but i talked myself out of worst case scenario, i kept calm. we wrapped her in blankets as it was 1 in the morning. We got her into the car and we left. we took her straight to the sick children hospital and she was seen immediately.
They took us in to the treatment room where they done her sats. Her blood pressure was so high she was barely responsive and limp. This for any parent is your worst nightmare. we had been seen by doctors, consultants and nurses and 2 hospitals! i kept asking myself “how did it get to this”
The doctor entered the room and done a lot of tests, blood tests mainly. And at that point thats when i said to him, “i know whats wrong, she has meningitis doesn’t she?” his response to me was to wait till the results came back but it was looking very like meningitis. hearing those words over in my head slowly killed me a little bit more inside, how did this happen? how did they miss this?!
They took us along to a special room made us as comfortable as possible and we just had too wait! we tossed and turned and cried and then got hysterical and then calmed down and then cried a little more. what felt like hours later a very small quiet little man came in to see us…
“my name is doctor chowdry. im the director paediatrician for scotland and will be dealing with this case.”
director paediatrician for scotland? the highest consultant in the whole country? just how serious is this?
as you can imagine we had a great deal of questions. but our main question to doctor chowdery were: how serious is this? and whats going to happen next?
“i can’t lie to you or sugar coat this, your daughter is seriously ill, we are looking at a 5% maybe 10% chance of survival at the moment, she will be taken for an immediate brain scan now and we will determine how much fluid is in the brain, and determine how we will treat her.”
So little survival rate? this was beginning to feel like a very bad nightmare!! i wish i could have woken up and realise it was all just a horrible mess of a dream but unfortunately this was real, “how am i going to cope? i can’t do this? my baby?” questions screamed in my head but my mouth was numb, i couldn’t speak or breath. i was numb!
the brain scan
They took us down in the big noisy silver lift, they briefed us on what they were going to do and she wouldn’t feel a thing. we had to wait outside. i could hear her whimpering, i was slowly falling in to a pit of despair. By the point i was beginning to lose the will to live. “why was this happening to us?” “i love her more than life itself”.
15 minutes later the consultant came out, he explained to us that there was a lot of swelling and pressure in the brain which meant they couldn’t do the lumber puncture. they needed to do this to determine what exactly it was we were faced with and dealing with. or thats what they thought.
the waiting game
They took us back up to our room where they settled us in again. The nurses came in took more blood and put her on her drips. They were medicating her for viral and bacterium meningitis and put her on a saline drip too. 2 hours later the consultant came back. He sat down on hour bed. the words “im so sorry to have to tell you this” came out his mouth. i sank in the bed, hoping and despairing that a big black hole would just swallow me up.
“we are dealing with meningitis, we still don’t know 100% what type yet but her blood results came back, we do not need to do a lumber puncture as its shown that 93% of her blood is infected. all we can do just now is wait until we can identify exactly what kind and treat it correctly but she has both antidotes going through her just now so hopefully it will kick in soon”
We sat and just stared at her, we cried for hours and hours, we never slept. my question was ” if this doesn’t work what else can we do?” his response to us was brutal, he made us aware that if this doesn’t work, nothing would. she was on the strongest level of antibiotics possible. it was 90% domestos going through her. she smelt like bleach! “how did this happen.” i was angry, destroyed and hurting more than words could explain!
And now it was another waiting game… the next day they came in and told us it was bacterium. “was she going to lose limbs? sight? hearing? was she ever going to be our normal healthy baby again?” Atlas now they could treat her properly and efficiently couldn’t they? it was just a waiting game! it was all just a waiting game! what was going to happen next? so many questions but so little answers.
We paced for days, feeling helpless and wrecked as we watched her lying lifeless. nurses in and out every 2 hours checking her, more medicines, more bloods and more sats. i just wanted to take her home! i wanted my daughter back! how did so many professionals miss this!!
the 3rd day!
I just wanted to hear her we voice, it was killing me. i was just a shadow of the woman i used to be. i was a walking lifeless body. and then i heard it. i was lying n the bed, gordon lying with his head on her cot bed “gornon” i sat bolt upright! was i dreaming? i saw him, a tear rolling down his cheek. Then it was again “gornon, momma” NO WAY!!! i ran over to her side, as she turned her head and gave me the tiniest of smiles, “momma”. MY BABY WAS TALKING!!
up until this point we had no idea the damage, if she would ever even wake up, never mind walk or talk or see! And then suddenly the sun came out! Was she back?
As the nurses kept telling us we still had a long way to go yet. But we had hope now. a slight glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel.
For the next few days she progressed and got better and better! My worst fears were slowly beginning to look hopeful. she began to talk to us again, focus on things. Our consultant came in and told us that she was a miracle. she was only the forth child in britain in the last 4 years to contract ‘niseria meningiteri’ and only the second to survive.
3 days later
The consultant came in, and to much of our surprise the words came out his mouth “your going home in 2 days”
i was hysterical! i was getting my baby home! she had made a miraculous recovery! astounding! i had never felt so proud or happy or over joyed in my life! our nightmare has almost come to an end!! What felt like years on his now was only a week passed!
WE ARE GETTING HOME!! the nurses came in took out her canulas checked her over and discharged us! No lasting damage, she’s a miracle.
the road to recovery
After getting her home, she had to learn to walk again, she was very weak and wobbly but within a couple of weeks she was running around again. She still tires very quickly and still has off days but to think what she’s been through thats to be expected! she was on deaths door, not even 2 weeks previous they were telling us the likely hood of her surviving!
She still has to go for rehabilitation classes at the hospital and hearing and eye tests but so far everything looks normal. i could not express my pain in the past experiences. no parent should have to go through any illness with there child let alone something so serious. it was horrific. i Cant thank the nurses and consultants of the sick children ward for all their attentiveness and care for both me and gordon and also my daughter. They were wonderful!
And especially our doctor, he has came to visit us on a regular basis and has kept a very close eye on her now, he makes an appearance every now and again to see her progress. He also calls regularly and never once had my daughter or us out his mind. What a fabulous doctor to have in our practice!
My daughter showed no signs of meningitis until it was almost to late, if you are ever concerned ask for a blood test. She almost died from such a deadly decease as it was undetectable. Meningitis isn’t always a rash or physical signs. sometimes its lying in there undetectable taking over your body without even awareness. She is a miracle and will always be the strongest little human being to fight this! its a killer don’t hesitate to ask for more extensive tests if you feel its just not right. YOU KNOW BEST!! life for us will never be the same again as i will always be over cautious now! Once you see the rash, the squint eyes or the swollen fontanel more cases than not its to late. never ever hesitate!
My message to all mothers and fathers out there is that if you are ever in doubt at all, don’t hesitate, sometimes something so trivial as a virus can become so serious in the matter of hours and even if you feel like your being a pest Your not! You know best. Don’t ever settle for something your not sure on! a second or even a 3rd opinion is better than loosing life.
Hope you enjoy this blog and i hope that in the future my story can save lives. i apologies for it being so long!
if you have any questions or advise you’d like to know, please just comment bellow and i will respond as accurately as i can. god bless.